I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
