I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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