never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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