Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
