Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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