I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
