How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
