I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
