I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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