Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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