I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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