i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You can't just leave with hair like that
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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