I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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