This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
