I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
