Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
