So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
