I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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