My underwear smells like fireworks.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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