I like to think it a success when the cops are called
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
