I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
