how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she smelled like a LAN party
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
