I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
