By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
