Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
