Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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