Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
