how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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