I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
