He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
