so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
