Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
