I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
