capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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