haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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