Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
