gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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