She's JV to your varsity
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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