Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
