I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
