Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
