Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
