Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
