she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
