whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
