I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
