No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
