I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
