I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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