Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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