he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
