he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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