Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
