It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
