I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
