found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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