Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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